Category Archives: Life

Relationships

Vanessa Van Edwards talks about The Science of People. She is a lead investigator at her human behavior research lab. She designs original research experiments to crack the code of human behavior.

Her goal is to turn soft skills into hard skills and her innovative work has been featured on NPR, USA Today and Business Week. She regularly gives keynote speeches and appears in the media to  talk about her research. She has written for Fast Company, Forbes and CNN.

Vanessa discusses the 5 Habits of Exceptionally Charismatic People.

She says star quality is learn able. You can increase this. She says she wants to bust a myth that “Charismatic People are Perfect”, they are attractive, smarter or better than….

And so, the first habit she goes on to talk about is;

1. Embrace Their Imperfections. She says to use your imperfections to bond with other people, that vulnerability can actually help you be more likeable.

2. Don’t be a Conversational Narcissist. Charismatic people have a mentality shift, when they go into interaction with people all they focus on is how can they ask the most interesting questions. They don’t think about what they are going to say or how they are going to say it even or talk about themselves, they focus on how can I get this person to tell me their story.

3. Gush, Don’t Gossip. The old saying of we have two ears and one mouth. We “should” be listening more than we are speaking and what’s important about this is something called the spontaneous trait transference. What “they” and she found is that when you speak ill of someone people cannot help but associate those  negative traits to you as well as the person you are talking about. Find genuine ways to gush about people instead of gossip and it has to be genuine. For example, introducing someone is a genuine way to gush about someone, i.e. this is Louisa and she is an amazing singer and has just finished writing a play, its amazing, Or this is Brian, he always smiles at me and wishes me good-morning. It really makes my day when he acknowledges me.

4. Body Language Tips – Use Your Hands. Show Your Hands. This has relation to being more trustworthy as a person. Keep your hands visible. Eye Contact, looking into someone’s eyes. Brief interaction and keep eye-contact and don’t over-head gaze to see who is better to talk too.

I like this Woman. I had never heard of her before. She shares some very interesting points.

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